Living a Positive Life

Folded papers with my positivity notes written on them.

Folded papers with my positivity notes written on them.

I’m not one to make resolutions when the new year rolls around. My track record when it comes to seeing them through isn’t great. So, I’m not calling this a resolution. It’s more a change of heart and mind, and this is something I opted to do in the last quarter of 2014.

Most of the previous year, I endeavoured, along with a couple of friends, to work through a book that was going to help us find love. Maybe it sounds a little silly, but it’s not like cupid had been knocking on my doorstep, so I figured I had nothing to lose. While not everything discussed in the book and during our club sessions felt entirely applicable to me, it was still an eye opening experience that helped to pave a little more of the path I should strive to follow.

All-in-all, the book wasn’t some immediate solution to solving my woes in the relationship department. However, it did give me more insight into the things that are important to me, and important to opening myself up to receiving what I need and want.

More than anything, I realized that I was beating myself up too much. I’ve always been one to compare myself to others. Yet, I understand that doing that serves no purpose. Over time I’ve begun to see that everything isn’t always what it seems. The people who have what look like picture perfect lives on the surface, may be suffering inside. Who knows, right?

The biggest takeaway for me as we reached the half way mark of the book was that I had to stop letting negativity into my life. I have always prided myself on being a very positive person. I hate to see sadness or disappointment, so I try to be a light. Sometimes it’s hard though. I’m well aware that things aren’t always sunshine and roses. Watching or reading news stories can get me down fast, thinking about where I am in my career and knowing I’m not even close to where I want to be bums me out, and other peoples’ consistently pessimistic views of the world push me to grow weary, but I finally decided that I had to counteract that.

As crazy as it may sound, I now believe that if you think and act optimistically – see the glass half full – you’ll feel a thousand times better. You can’t expect to think bad thoughts and not have them continue to affect you. Just saying you’re doing well when someone asks, even if you’re really not, works wonders. Honestly, it’s all a state of mind.

One of the best ways to do this is to remember all the things you’re grateful for. Do this every single day, not just once a year on Thanksgiving. Appreciate the little moments.

A joy jar that holds all of my wonderful memories until I shake them out come New Year's Eve 2015 and read them one by one...I think I need a bigger one!

A joy jar that holds all of my wonderful memories until I shake them out come New Year’s Eve 2015 and read them one by one…I think I need a bigger one!

That’s why I’ve started contributing to my joy jar. Every single time something that is nice, happy, funny, exciting or any other number of positively skewed adjectives happens, I’m going to write about it on a piece of paper, fold it up and place it into some sort of container. When New Year’s Eve 2015 finally arrives, I’m dumping each piece of paper out, and I’m going to go through them one by one to remind myself of just how fabulous my life has been and is. Big or small, I want my memories to be good ones.

Here are some rules that I think are essential to live by:

Be part of the solution. Pursue your interests, you never know where they may lead. Be a good friend. Listen to people, sometimes it’s all they require of you. Be your own person; avoid comparisons to others. Love fully and truthfully. Be giving and forgiving. Don’t hold things in, it never ends well. Be in the moment. Accept compliments. Be kind because kindness spreads. Smile.

My All-Time Favourite Rom-Com

With Valentine’s Day 2013 about a week and a half behind us, the occasion got me thinking about my favourite romantic comedies. There are plenty I’ve enjoyed over the years, including: Bridesmaids (some may question this one, but it really is one), Crazy, Stupid, Love.The Proposal, Love Actually, Two Weeks Notice, Notting Hill, Pretty Woman and Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Despite all of those, which bring me happiness in different ways, I am inclined to say that my all-time favourite rom-com is not listed above. In fact, I would say that my favourite would have to be When Harry Met Sally. Back in 1989, I think it pushed the bounds of a romantic comedy a little bit – something Bridesmaids decided to take way further in 2011. However, it’s not the famous Meg Ryan (who was beautiful back then) diner orgasm scene or the classic New Year’s Eve proclamation of love at the end (it gets me everytime) that really sticks with me. What I look forward to the most is the old couple at the beginning telling the story of how they met, and then at the end of the movie, Harry and Sally recalling how they fell in love.

When Harry Met Sally - Harry and Sally couch scene

When Harry Met Sally – Harry and Sally couch scene

I’m always intrigued by how people meet their significant others. Some stories are a little mundane maybe, but when people think back, it probably means the world to them. In Cougar Town‘s most recent episode, Flirting with Time, the couples all discussed how they came to know one another, recalling a number of meet cute situations.

Cougar Town - Grayson & Jules meet cute

Cougar Town – Grayson & Jules meet cute

I hope that one day I’ll have a great story of my own to tell, but until then, I’d really like it if you could share yours. I’d also love it if you could take a moment to tell me your favourite rom-com and why.

Remember, everyone deserves to be loved. No matter who you are, love is all around.

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